Time is like water running through your fingers and before you know it kids grow up. That is what my coworker told me when she announced she was retiring to be there for her son who was starting his own family.  It resonated with me.

Like many people, I juggle with too many things in my life-kid, full-time job, health, relationships and spirituality. At the end of the day, I just want to sit on my couch and be numb. In those moments it is easy to just let my daughter watch her favorite shows or entertain herself while I recoup on my phone, and I want easy.

Yet, in the back of my head I know my time with my kid is slipping and I am not doing her any favors by letting her camp out on the couch. So, I make myself get up.  At the end of the day, I care so, I try, but between the meetings, getting ready for the day, planning the meals, bath times and bedtimes there isn’t a lot of time left to plan special moments to connect.

I made a commitment to myself and my daughter to make the best of it. To celebrate and capture moments and be present in those moments.

For myself, I don’t want to look back at my life and only see a blur of jumping from point A to B, not consciously participating. I want a jackpot of memories “of” my daughter and “with” my daughter and “of” my life and “living” my life.

For my daughter, I want her to cherish her childhood and look back at it with lots of memories and wonderful moments that will carry her through life. I want her to remember our time together and know she is loved. I want it to warm her heart every time she remembers. 

For my readers, I hope this blog inspires you to create your own special moments, gives you ideas, and most importantly, brings understanding that although not all our moments can be made up of trips to Disney, they matter, are important and can be memorable and lasting.

Although, I love the zoo and Arboretum (and support both), in this blog I hope to explore the less travelled roads, and not the obvious ones. In this blog I hope to celebrate year-round—all days and not just the big days. This is life, so not all moment will be happy or perfect, and I am not claiming to be perfect.

How to Make Moments Count-My Philosophy

This is where I am at and what I remind myself of when I feel like I am getting off track. These rules are my philosophy. I may tweak them with time and experience.

1. Keep it simple.  Not all moments have the gravity of a wedding, graduation or birth of child, but that does not make them any less important.  Memories are a collection of moments and memories have gravity. Every moment can unfold into a lasting memory a magical moment and an opportunity to connect.
2. Take care of yourself. Someone told me you can’t give if your well is dry.  I like to work out in the mornings. That is something I do for myself. I see a big difference on how I take on the world when I make time for myself. I am more focused and patient and more likely to bring my best self forward.
3. Minimize your life and prioritize. Make time for what is most important over the never-ending chores/list. If I wait for my house is spic and span and all the laundry is put up, I will never have time to do what I want.   On the flip side, if laundry needs to be done and house needs to be cleaned, I turn on the music and make it family event. Cleaning house is good for my kid and spouse.
4. Do what you enjoy. I play on my strengths. Physical exertion is not my thing. Playing chase or outdoor game with my kids is not my thing.  My husband likes it. So those moments become daddy daughter moments. My strengths are the quieter one-on one moments. I have more fun planning celebrations and art projects with my daughter.   
5. You define the moment, don’t let the moment define you.  Your demeanor and attitude are the biggest factors in defining the moment.  It is not the circumstance or situation; it will be what you bring to it that will make it a moment. Life is made of good, bad, and ugly.  Things will not go according to plan and sometimes it will go badly. Your child will remember how you handled it. It is a teachable moment.  (this is what I need to work on the most.)
6. Don’t pass up an opportunity.  Whether it is a pandemic or something else, do not wait for a better day or circumstance to celebrate.  That is not to say be reckless or not follow health guidelines. Find ways to still celebrate. This is something I am good at—recognizing the value of everyday.
7. Your best is the best. Super moms are not perfect. Your best is all you can do. The best is often times also what you can give at that moment. I am very hard on myself. At the end of the day, nothing is good enough and I always come up short. Learning to treat myself kindly is something I am working at. I tell myself if it were my daughter in my shoes, what would I say to her. I would not want her to beat herself up and would hope she could see the value in herself. My daughter is watching me and taking notes. I am teaching her how to take care of herself. There are so many negative emotions in the world, why add to it.